The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they
would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and
Goliath. This “duel” would be a dog fight. The negotiators agreed each side
would take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that
won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas.
The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.
The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the
world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the
meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of
each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other puppies. They
used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine.
After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on
its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and
When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up
with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long!
Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there
seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against
the growling beast over in the Arab camp. All the bookies took one look and
predicted that the Arab dog would win in less than a minute. As the cages
were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of the ring.
The Arab dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.
As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and
swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a
small puff of fur from the Arab killer dog’s tail floating to the ground.
The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel
let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise. The Arabs approached
the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. “We do not
understand,” said their leader, “Our top scientists and breeders worked for
5 long years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans, Rottweilers and Siberian
wolves, and they developed an incredible killing machine of a dog!” The
Israelis replied. “Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish plastic
surgeons from Boca Raton working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.
Epilogue: Maybe, just maybe, they’ll stop the fight? What was so great about The Stone age?